Returning to work? When the hell did that happen?

So - I'm sitting here in wrist braces and a baby wrap with a snuggly, wiggly little baby inside.  She is waking up off and on and reminds me how quickly I need to get stuff done when she's sleeping - because she could be awake and hungry at any moment.  I am trying my hardest to fully appreciate these moments - because in less than 2 weeks I return to the work world again.  

I think like any new mom, I have very mixed emotions about this return. I won't be able to sleep in until 8am and wake up to my smiling baby girl.  But, at the same time, I'll be back in Adult-land - speaking and thinking like a grown-up, not cooing and wiping spit-up.  I am nervous about this return.  I'm much heavier than when I got pregnant - so clothing options may have me returning to maternity clothes (ugh).  I will be commuting from my home north of Denver to the "Tech Center" which is south of town (ugh).  The client and project sound very promising - and it is actual Change work - just like I've always wanted.  So...we'll see. I'm cautiously optimistic, excited twinged with sadness...it is somewhat like that feeling I had when I'd return to school after a holiday or summer break - but this time it's somewhat less jubliant.  

I really enjoy the questions from people asking "Oh, are you returning to work?" as if this is a choice I have.  Yes - I'm going back.  Not exactly a choice right now.  After a move, maternity leave and all of the joys of homeownership (the most recent joy being termites....eeeeek) - I really have to return to work.  I don't know what I'd be doing if I did have more of a choice - yes I'd still go back- but would I be trying to do something part time?  Humm...not sure.  

I'm incredibly lucky that my little Ada-Ruth will be cared for by people who care about her.  I know this makes it easier.  Mom will be here a couple days a week.  John will be here on Fridays (or Mondays?)  and it looks like our doula Abby will care for Ada-Ruth a couple days a week as well.  We are blessed to have options.

I have so much I need to do - write thank-yous (it's embarassing at this point how far behind and how many we need to write), start yoga again, finish organizing the home office, finish appealing the insurance company, lose 50 lbs, understand taxes, write my birth story...it's overwhelming.  And, not all of it will be finished when I return to work.  This is a good lesson in letting go and non-attachment.  I wish I could delay a return to work (and stop Ada-Ruth from growing so quickly) until just a couple of those were finished and put to rest.  But - well - I can't.  I have felt myself get a touch panicky recently - and I'm just having to let it go.  Ok- I'm not the best at writing thank-yous.  Emily Post would make an example out of me.  There are people who write thank-yous as soon as they recieve gifts.  Yes- they're superior letter writers - but I have to let go the feeling that they're better than me.  They're human, too.  Right?  I can't let unwritten thank-yous keep me up at night- especially when my baby girl is sleeping!  

I don't know.  I don't have answers.  I just have a lot of rambling observations and questions.  Yeesh.

Nourish US - our new family recipe blog

Dear Family and Friends -

Here is a Christmas present for you all from me and my dear cousin Meliors. 

Nourish Us, a new blog at http://nourishus.blogspot.com/ is a gift for all members of our far flung extended families to have a place to share family recipes, stories and photos.  We hope that it will help family members stay connected, ensure that family memories and pictures are shared and recorded, and provide many delicious dishes for us to remember or try.

This was designed as a space to post and find favorite recipes. It was inspired by our maternal grandparents - Ada Ruth and Jess Kellerman - who shared a love of cooking and large meals shared by family and friends alike. Their house rule was one visit you were company, but on the second visit you became family. (Being family also meant you had to do dishes...but that was an easy price to pay after enjoying a delicious meal at their table).

We would love to have you post to this website to share your favorite heirloom or new favorite recipes.  You can either send me or Meliors your recipes and we will post them.  Or - if you would like to post recipes yourselves - let us know and we'll add you as an author for the blog.  

Please keep in mind - we are still working out some of the setting-up kinks across our different time zones (with me here in Colorado and Meliors in Melbourne, Australia).  However...please hop on board and send us your recipes!  Also - please send this to family or friends who I've missed or who you think would enjoy the blog!!

Meliors and I hope that this will be such a lively family meeting place that eventually we can plan fun activies like a virtual family reunion dinner, where we nominate a dish or menu to all cook on the same day, then each share our photos and stories - it could be the next best thing to sitting down to eat around the same table.

Lots of love, and Merry Christmas!!

Kimberly & Meliors

She's perfect

Ruth Lorraine arrived on November 7th at 5:14pm.  While she was "late" or past the due-date guesstimate...when she decided it was time to be born she came pretty quickly.  

She was 7lbs 13.5 oz, 19.5 inches at birth.  It is almost a month later and she's 9lbs 2oz and 21.5 inches.  So, she's growing!

Ada-Ruth Lorraine is named after both John and my maternal grandmothers - Ada Ruth was my dear grandma and Lorraine is John's feisty and wonderful grandma who lives in Wisconsin.  

We are very lucky and feel very blessed.  This past month we've been able to introduce her to both sets of grandparents, her uncles and aunt...and we look forward to Ada-Ruth meeting many more people who love her.  The outpouring of love from our friends and family has been overwhelming and heartwarming and we thank everyone for the warm thoughts, cute gifts, prayers and love you've been sending our way.  We all appreciate it.

And now...I have to go feed the baby...:)

Chaz's new digs

October 24, 2008: No Chaz yet.  However, as consolation prizes the Carpal tunnel and heartburn are still here.  Sleep seemingly wisened up and has not really been around (at least at night) for many weeks.  Wheee!

So...since I'm just sitting here waiting...I've resorted to taking photos of the crib.

Here is the beautiful crib!  Uncle and Aunt-to-be David and Melissa gave the baby the crib and mattress - and we're excited to start using it!! 

Babyclothes!

These are gifts from the great-grandparents.  The (very dusty) cradle was made for me by my Grandpa Kellerman when I was a baby.  My mom and dad have saved it and I'm very proud our baby will be able to use the cradle as well.  We'll be using this cradle on the main level for baby naps.  And, the white blanket with color strips was made for the baby by John's grandma Lorraine.   

The baby has a 3rd bed...it is the co-sleeper in our bedroom.  Chaz will be spending nights next to us so the initial wakings, feedings and comforting is easier on all of us.  We have also learned that having the baby sleep in the same room as the parents may teach the baby better breathing patterns and regulation possibly preventing SIDS.  So, it seems to be good all around!

Last but not least, here is the view out of Chaz's window. 

In the distance are the mountains - with Meeker and Longs clearly visible.  I think it is the best view from inside the house.  Only the  best for our baby.

Ouch, ouch, ouch...that hurts

Ok- so no one told me that I could get carpal tunnel. I was expecting the swelling, the sleeplessness, the strange emotions, the strong need to "nest", the food cravings...but I wasn't expecting any carpal tunnel nonsense. For about the past 2 weeks - I no longer wake up with leg cramps because I wake up with hand and arm cramps. What the heck?

Now, I don't mean to complain too much. I have been really blessed so far with this whole pregnancy thing. But, I now understand why the last couple weeks are not so much fun. Movement is restricted, food is unappealing, sleep is difficult...ah well. The joys of mother-to-be-hood. I'm in the home stretch and I'm ready for the baby to come home. The nursery is painted, crib is put together, linens and clothing is washed and hanging, bag is packed...now we need a baby and many sleepless nights.

Today I was treated to a baby shower lunch by my fellow women co-workers here in the Denver office. We had a great time- I need to get the pictures back and I will post. The lunch was wonderful and the cake was spectacular! I also got some lovely gifts to help welcome Chaz. It was so sweet of the ladies to host a lunch for me & babe- and made me feel very special, especially when these ladies have only known me for a couple months. Thanks to Melissa S, Melissa L (aka cake goddess), Karen, Melanie & Jenn - not to mention all the guys who stayed back in the office (understandably...for it was a very estrogen heavy lunch). Again- it was a really fun time - I was really touched.

So...now my time is taken up with working from home, creating "to-do before baby" lists, doing my prenatal exercizes and trying to convince Chaz that this week is as good as any for Chaz to join us. I'm trying to use some logical reasoning: the sooner Chaz arrives, the easier it will be on everyone involved in the labor process; Chaz's daddy is REALLY tall...so...it's ok if Chaz wants to come out a little bit early; once Chaz arrives, there are SO many gifts Chaz will get to enjoy all to her/himself; the middle of October allows Chaz to have a birthday party and also take credit for Halloween...instead of having to blend them into one event; um...and if Chaz comes in the next week or so then I don't have to buy any more pregnancy clothes...cause I got nothing to wear when the weather dips under 50 degrees. So...send your "induction" vibes along to the little one - we're ready to go. Hopefully Chaz is, too.

I'll try to post again before the big day and I don't mean the election... :)